Whose Story is It Anyway?

It's hard enough finding an illustrator for my picture books. Many of the ones I've approached don't want to collaborate. They want a fee. I'm beginning to think that might be the way to go. AT least you can then tell them to get on with the task at hand.

My latest encounter with an illustrator ended in her wanting me to re-write my story totally. So, yeah, if there are any artists out there who think they might want to illustrate a children's book, email me your rates ...

Worth of a good editor

TOTS TO TEENS
By DAPHNE LEE

SOMEONE thinks I'm a diva! Someone thinks I don't practise what I preach; that I'm too hard-headed and won't listen.

This person (I'll call her Minnie) is an illustrator whom I was hoping to work with on a picture book. A few months ago I sent her a story, but she said disliked the characters, two little girls (close friends) who quarrel and indulge in a bout of fisticuffs and name-calling. Minnie said she didn't think little girls behaved that way and that if she read the story to her own daughter, it would be like sanctioning such bad behaviour.

Actually, the two little girls are based on me and my best friend, when we were five and six. Sunita and I were very close but when we fought it was often extremely violent, loud and nasty. Sugar, spice and everything nice we certainly were not!

Anyway, I sent Minnie another story (Special Things) a few weeks later. The two children in this one do not fight. They go to the same child-minder and each bring a box filled with "special things". The boy Jack has five things in his box. He shows them to the baby-sitter and his friend Tina who starts to look more and more miserable until, when the time comes to show her special things, she bursts into tears. Tina's box, it turns out, is empty. But Jack shares his things with her in the end and everything is okay.

Now, Minnie liked this story better than she did the one about two naughty little girls. Nevertheless, she told me that she thought it could be improved upon. She wanted me to re-write the tale so that each of the special things in Jack's box marks milestones in his life. As Jack shows and talks about each thing, Tina becomes progressively sadder because she begins to feel the "void in her life" (I'm directly quoting Minnie ... we had this discussion on Instant Messenger). Minnie envisioned Tina as a single parent whose home isn't as loving as Jack's. Jack's box is full of love, Tina's box is empty like her life, but she doesn't really know what she's missing out on until "Jack shows her the special things in his life." Minnie wanted Jack to console Tina and Tina to say "You'll be my special friend."

"Jack sub-consciously [fills] his box with special things cos he feels special and surrounded with love," said Minnie. "[He] has no problem filling his box. ButTina unconsciously has difficulty in filling her box because she begins to feel the void in her life."

As you may or may not have guessed, I didn't agree to any of the suggested changes or additions. In a later IM exchange Minnie said my characters were "monsters" and that she wanted to "tame them, humanise them a bit".

The reason why I'm discussing this in Tots to Teens is because I think my reaction to her suggestions for Special Things can help me illustrate what I think good editing is all about. I do believe that every writer can benefit from a good editor and proof-reader. I really do think that writers should accept criticism and consider how it can help them improve their work. I do not, however, think that a writer must act on every suggestion made by an editor.

I think it's so important that an editor understands what the author wants to say and how he wants to say it. If your story is about baking an apple pie, it won't do if your editor thinks it's about how people get fat by eating too much dessert.

Special Things is about a morning in the life of a little boy. I wanted it to be full of sights and sounds because I think children are acutely aware of the world around them and notice things that adults take for granted. Each of the five things in his box actually represents one of the five senses, but I never actually say they do. (It's cool when those whom I've given the manuscript to notice this).

I picture Jack and Tina as three or four-year-olds. There's no telling what a three year old, told to fill a box up with special things, will pick. What's special to a kid that age is, going by my own small ones, is totally random, flavour-of-the-day stuff. When deciding what to fill the box with, I thought of some of the things that my children were attached to at various times in their life. A blue plastic whistle on a string was one. My second son loved that whistle which was one of the gifts in a party bag. I also put in some chocolate because a child might very well think of a sweet as a special something (I think kids would be more spontaneous and honest in their choices and not be bogged down, like adults would, about the things having a deep meaning or significance).

Tina is miserable because she realises that she's forgotten to put stuff in her box. She remembers the box but not to fill it. I think that's something a child would do. When she reveals her empty box, her tears are of relief as well as mortification.

I did not see Tina as the child of a single parent. If I did, I would certainly not want to show her as someone who has no love in her life as I would be leery of perpetuating the stereotype of a miserable kid from a loveless one-parent family. Poor Tina! I don't want her to be a neglected three-year-old whose empty box symbolises her empty heart! I simply want Tina to be a regular kid who forgets!

I don't know what Minnie meant about my characters being "monsters". To me, Jack and Tina are quite ordinary, regular kids. In envisioning and then describing them, I made them into very real people (in my mind) and if I had agreed to Minnie's suggestions, I would have forced them to do and say things that not only went against their natures, but also my personal beliefs and convictions. Furthermore, in writing Special Things, I did not set out to make a statement about single-parent families or wish to compare the psyche of children from two-parent and single-parent households. Sorry, Minnie, but my story and characters would not ring true if I "humanised" them as per your suggestions.

I would welcome any suggestions that help me achieve my aim to make Special Things a thoroughly sensuous experience (check your dictionaries before you express disgust that I want to write pornography for children) and portray children as they react to the world around them. I would be thrilled if anyone could help me do that. An editor (a good editor) should help bring out the best in an author and help him make the most of his story. It's the author's story, not the editor's.

Minnie, if you're reading this,  I know you're not and never claimed to be an editor, but I hope you understand that the same principles apply and that I couldn't tell the story you wanted me to because it's not my story. It's yours and perhaps it's waiting for you to write it.

Comments

[Sunita]

Hi Ah Nee

I guess you remember me, huh! Haha!

I have know we havent stayed in touch for many years, but being the Sunita of your childhood I feel I must write and applaud you for sticking to your guns. We were the two of the naughtiest little girls living in Jalan Pawang but we adored each other, didnt we?. We drove our mothers crazy with all our silly, wild fights but they knew we were joined at the hip! I have the fondest memories of our childhood, despite the daily fights we used to have! We didnt turn out so bad did we, Daphne? I'm proud of you, girl! Would love to tell that editor to go jump in the Segamat river....

Lots of love
Sunita

[Chris]

I like reading books based on true stories!! I usually purchase these kind of books from Valore Books, Barnes&Noble stores and last time I saved 15% while shopping at Couponalbum.com.....!!

[Daphne]

Tang: Thanks for your input. Yeah, I think Jack does show that he's a caring person when he shares his things with Tina. I think I'll put them in another book and develop their friendship there!

Lian: How's the bookshop going? Thanks for dropping in and for telling me about your little experiment!

Hal!: How are you??? Looking forward to your new novella and esp to your illustrated history.

Kwan: Amir's working on other books with me. But I want a different feel for this one. Lunch!!!

[kwan]

Hey
What happened to the guy who worked on your first 4 books? Thought those were pretty neat.

I think you shouldn't change your plot to suit commercial/popular acceptance.

I recently watched an episode of a HK drama where the kids were given a box to keep their cherished keepsakes. It was kinda tradition within the family; father to daughter, or son..thought that was pretty cool.

look forward to your book.

kwan;)

[tunku halim]

The only artist I know is my wife. I'm trying to get her to do some black and white illustrations for my soon-to-be-published novella 'Juriah's Song'. But progress is a bit slow so far . . . so can't recommend!!! :)

[Lian]

I don't see the need to attach deep meanings into your children's story. After all, it is for children and for it to be appealing to them, it has to somewhat reflect their nature. So, I think you are on the right track.
My kids right now range from 8months-6 years old. I just did an experiment with my children -- I asked them to bring me 5 special things. Guess what I got? Color pencils, marker pens, lego, toy car, notebook, comic book etc.... Things that show their current interest. Err, definitely no deep meanings there. I also second Tang's idea of a little message on sharing and caring. I believe most parents will vote on that ;)
Well, good luck with your book. If you feel my little bookshop (http://valuebookshop.com) would be a good place to do some selling, let me know.

[FY Tang]

Hi Daphne, I agree with you that you should stay true to your story. I love reading to my son, so much so that he is getting a little lazy to read on his own. He says that 'When Mommy reads, he can hear special sound effects'. Which brings to mind what your story, Special Things, is to a pre-school child. Being aware of surroundings like colours, smells, sounds, textures, etc, is a world of discovery to little children. Each encounter sparks a sense of joy and excitement in them which in turn makes them want to learn and discover more things. I thought it would be wonderful to instill a little caring and sharing character into the story as a secondary point besides learning about senses. Also, if this book is meant to be read together with the parents, perhaps it's a good idea to challenge the readers to experience the senses themselves, like touch a rough surface, listening to the sound of water running from a tap, or guessing the smells on different objects. Lastly, I hope you find the right illustrator. All the best!