It's Not Just About Sex, It's About Life

By DAPHNE LEE

Tots to Teens

CONTINUING last week's discussion about banned and challenged books (the United States celebrates Banned Books Week from Sept 26-Oct 3), adults are most likely to get their knockets all knotty about sex in children's books.
 
Whether it's in a work of fiction or a book written specifically to educate children about the birds and the bees, sex and sexual orientation are often considered unsuitable subjects for children.

In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak was on the American Library Association's Top 10 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 2004. This book has been challenged since it was published in 1969 - mainly because of the main character's nudity. There is no sex as such in this picture book, but I'm guessing adults see a nude child and sex immediately pops into their head. Hmmm ... Alternatively, they wish to protect children from the sight of a nude child as this would be very shocking and disturbing because ... kids have never seen themselves naked? Hey, I'm still just guessing here!

It’s So Amazing! A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families and It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health, both by Robie H. Harris, made the challenged books Top 10 in 2005. So did Judy Blume's Forever, which is about the experiences of a teenage girl who decides to have sex with her boyfriend. This book is also a repeat offender, challenged from its publication back in 1975.

And Tango Makes Three, by Justin Richardson, and The Perks of Being A Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky are on 2007's list. Homosexuality is a feature in both these books.

The former is right on the top of 2008's list, which is includes seven other books challenged because of their sexual content.

As a parent myself, I do understand the anxiety one feels at the thought of one's children discovering their sexuality. What does one tell them? How much is too much (in terms of totally embarrassing them)? What does one do with sticky computer keyboards? Is it acceptable to remind your 17-year-old to stock up on condoms?

I can understand why parents might be uncomfortable about their child reading sexually explicit novels (I understand the feeling but can't relate to it), but I really don't see why parents would object to books that educate and inform children and teens about their bodies.

There are two excellent books about the "facts of life" published by Usborne Books: What's Happening to Me? by Susan Meredith and Nancy Leschnikoff (illustrator) (48 pages, ISBN: 978-0746069950) and What's Happening to Me?: Boys Edition by Alex Firth, Susan Meredith (editor) and Adam Larkum (illustrator) (48 pages, ISBN: 978-0794515140).

Some Malaysian parents and educators I've shown these books to have reacted very positively to them. Others have been horrified - they disapprove, most of all, of the illustrations, which include close-ups of the genitals (in both sexes). "Too much" is often the verdict. In the book for girls, there is a drawing of a girl looking at her genitals in a hand-mirror. A mother I showed this to shrieked and said it was disgusting.

In fact, the books are frank, informative and non-judgmental, with illustrations that are accessible and humorous.

Another book that I've found helpful (I have a 12-year-old boy) is Hair, There, and Everywhere: A Book about Growing Up by Jacqui Bailey and Sarah Naylor (illustrator) (Barron's Educational Series, 80 pages, ISBN: 978-0764139048). This is a lot larger (A4 size) than What's Happening to Me? (A5) though, and so not as discreet.

I also prefer the Usborne books because there's the exclusivity of having a book for girls, and one for boys. However, each book has a chapter specifically about the opposite sex - just in case, your daughter or son wants to know ....

Parents might choose to see books about sex as helpmeets rather than view them with suspicion and fear. Books like What's Happening to Me?, Hair, There, and Everywhere and It's Perfectly Normal help our children understand what's happening to them, physically. Novels like Forever and The Perks of Being a Wallflower help our children figure out the emotional turbulence, the fear and uncertainty, the joy and excitement that come with the physical changes. They read about other kids experiencing these emotions and changes, surviving, making mistakes, learning lessons, thriving.

Hopefully, they also have friends they can talk to. Hopefully, their parents too will listen, understand and support.

Comments

[kamagra Jelly]

I can understand why parents might be uncomfortable about their child reading sexually explicit novels , but I really don't see why parents would object to books that educate and inform children and teens about their bodies.