The Places You Will Go

Desperate Princesses

I got this link from the Read Roger blog. You will love it especially if ...

... you are anti-Disney.

... have ever fantasised about doing GBH to any of Disney's princesses.

... ever wondered if any of the said princesses did in fact live "happily ever after" with their respective princes, ex-street urchins etc.

... predicted scenarios that were more Desperate Housewives than Good Wives for the lot.

... ever imagined Snow White living in sin with Grumpy.

... write fiction about the various storybook couples indulging in a little wife-swapping.

In a word, wicked! In two, wickedly good.

Short on Plot, Good for Snorts

Horror of Horrors! It's the Undead and They're Wearing Ungaro!

Raced through Vampire Beach: Blood Lust (Simon Pulse, 196 pages) by Alex Duvall last night.

It's set in the exclusive world of designer-clad teens a la The Clique, The A-List and Gossip Girl. The only difference is the popular kids here are vampires, which means they are even more terrifyingly perfect than the teens in the other series. Yes, this is the first book in a series.

Check out the tacky cover. It's so ... Miami Vice, or is it The OC? (Malibu Beach is the setting for the story.)

So, how about a series about teenage pontianaks in Sentul Convent? Or hip-hop werewolves in Brickfields? What about zombie mat-rempits in Kajang? I should be cashing in - what the hell's wrong with me?!

Elementary, Dear Macca!

The Silly Side of Sherlock Holmes: A Brand New Adventure Using a Bunch of Old Pictures

By Philip Ardagh

This book made me scream with laughter!

Philip Ardagh, of Eddie Dickens fame, strings a lot of original Sherlock Holmes (from The Strand Magazine 1891-1927) illustrations together, sticks in funny captions and comes up with a whole new "mystery" that will have you in fits.

(The version that's available in Malaysia has a different cover - Holmes's famous silhouette.)

Ardagh has also written The Not-So-Very-Nice-Goings-On at Victoria Lodge, which has illustrations from the 1890s's editions of The Girls Own Paper.

I have also received High in the Clouds, his collaboration with Paul McCartney, for review but can't bring myself to read it. It just looks terribly wordy and not too exciting.

Not feeling very well and so not inclined to read anything that doesn't immediately strike my fancy.

Anyway, stay tuned for whether I think Macca is a hack.   

Absolutely Fabulous

Last night I finished reading Absolutely, Positively Not ... by David La Rochelle who also wrote that wonderful picture book The Best Pet of All.

When I posted about Best Pet being my favourite picture book of 2004 (My Reading Year: 2004), David emailed to tell me about Absolutely, his first Young Adult novel. Of course I had to ask for a preview copy and I got it, on Monday!

Suffice to say that, reading it, I nearly fell out of bed laughing.

I'm not sure if the Malaysian censors will pass it as it's about a teenage boy (Steve)trying to come to terms with his sexuality. It wouldn't be a problem if it was about a straight guy wrestling with his hormones, but the fact that Steve thinks he might be gay would be a problem. Still, the cover doesn't give anything away, nor the title. Plus, it's not sexually explicit at all; just warm, funny and honest. And Steve is totally cuckoo, which makes him very endearing. Bravo, David!

I'm hoping Absolutely gets released here. I'm definitely asking the bookstores to bring it in directly even if the distributors don't.

Absolutely Positively Not ... is published this month.

Strip!

Came across Posy Simmond's hilarious comic strip Literary Life. Check out the latest installment: Ask Doctor Derek - Doctor Derek Shares His Casebook.

And for more, go to the archives.

Don't blame me if you fall off your chair laughing!

Elephantasy

I've just been telling Mike the Man about Uncle and the Uncle books by J. P. Martin.

Uncle is a millionaire elephant who lives in a castle called Homeward with his faithful retainer the Old Monkey and Canute Goodman, a white cat who likes to read the morning paper.

Uncle wears a purple dressing gown and likes drinking hot chocolate which is served to him in a pail.

His mortal enemy is called Beaver Hateman (he is not a beaver) who calls the elephant "the world's fattest dictator."

There are six Uncle books (illustrated by Quentin Blake) and all but the first two are out of print. They were reissued by Red Fox about four years ago as Uncle Stories.

They're laugh-out-loud funny and I love them to bits. Anyone with a taste for the absurd will enjoy them. Unfortunately I haven't seen them sold anywhere in Malaysia. However, they are worth ordering from Amazon or through one of our bookstores.

Read more ...

Just Call Me Darcy

I came across this quiz What Classic Novel Do You  Belong In? during this morning's visit to Subtext Whore.

I quite enjoy doing these things (hey, it means I can postpone working on all the stories I owe my editor!) and so I took the quiz and ...

"I believe you belong in Pride and Prejudice; a world of satire and true love. A world where everything is crystal clear to the reader, and yet where new things seem to be happening all the time. You belong in a world where your free-thought puts you above the silly masses, and where bright eyes and intelligence are enough to attract the arrogant millionaire/prejudiced young woman of your choice."

The question now is which character I'm most like. I think Darcy. A shorter, fatter, poorer female version, that is. 

Mini Review: How Santa Really Works

Title: How Santa Really Works

Author: Alan Snow

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Where You Bought This Book: It’s a review copy.

Main Characters: Santa and his elves. 

What It’s All About: Have you ever wondered how Santa runs his “business”? This book reveals where Father Christmas lives, how he gets all our presents to us in time, how he knows what we want and if we’ve been good, plus lots, lots more. Like, training for elves and how they’re assigned to the different departments within Santa’s Workshop (eg. Reindeer Welfare, Customer Support and Weather). Myths are busted too. For example, Santa isn’t really fat – how would he fit down a chimney then?!! He’s actually quite skinny and very fit, but he has an emergency inflatable suit that he can activate if he is accidentally seen: it inflates with helium to aid a speedy exit up chimneys!

What I like About It: I love the busy illustrations. There’s loads happening on every page and the details are brilliant, including the conversations going on between the elves. I also like the way the elves are shaped – a bit like fat-bottomed teapots with spindly arms and legs.

If You Like The Sound of this Book, You Should Also Check Out These Titles:

1. How Dogs Really Work

2. The Truth about Cats

3. Stink Stoppers

4. The Monster Book of ABC Sounds

All four are also by Alan Snow.

Name of Reviewer: Daphne Lee

Fairies Can Be Ah Lians Too

Michael Cheang, in his Eye on Everything blog, has written some wacky translations of speeches that appear in JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings books. Here's something to whet your appetite:

Michael's Ah Lian version of Arwen's speech to Elrond about Anduril (from Return of the King):

Dali itu habuk, ada api bangun tidur.

Ada itu lampu lompat keluar dali itu gelap-gelap.

Beli balu itu sulah pecah punya pisau besar.

Itu takde topi cantik-cantik punya olang, akan jadi laja lagi!

For the original and other nutty translations go to Panduan LOTR (ENG-BM-AB) Yang Sikit Gila-Gila.